When I heard of the passing
of Robin Williams, I was a bit surprised at my emotional response. It’s always
sad when someone dies. And while I felt sad when other celebrities have passed
away, Robin’s passing felt more personal. I'll openly admit that I've never cried when I heard of a celebrity’s
death. Felt the loss? Yes. Felt that terrible clench in my stomach? Yes again.
But, I actually cried for the loss of Robin Williams. And not just tears
trickling down my cheeks either.
Part of the reason that it
hit me differently than other famous deaths, is that I grew up with his voice
in my home. Whether it was Aladdin, Fern Gulley, Hook or Jumanji, we were
watching it. Then I grew to appreciate
his appearances in movies like Patch Adams, Dead Poet’s Society and Jakob the
Liar (quite possibly one of his best films ever). I was familiar with his
emotional trials, and as someone who has long struggled with depression, I empathized
with him.
But, I believe a bigger
reason this struck me so hard is because I was already feeling let down. It had
been a hard day. With news of an impending surgery that would drain our
vacation fund (and more) and feelings of frustration and irritation with my
kids, quickly followed by guilt for feeling so cranky with my kids, I was
already thinking about how I didn't feel like I was really living the life I
wanted to live.
His passing opened a
floodgate of emotions about the fragility of life, and even more guilty
feelings because I’m upset about a financial setback when other people are
struggling with much more difficult things.
It isn't that I don't enjoy my
life. I love my husband and my
children. I love them more than anything in this world. It’s just that feeling
like you are running on a treadmill. You aren't really going anywhere even
though you keep moving and sweating and pushing.
I've been trying to make a
lot of big changes in my life, from healthy habit changes, to a more focused
spiritual life, more organization in my work life, and more patience and focus
when I’m with my kids. It’s very easy to get overwhelmed and to lose sight of
what’s really important.
As I was reflecting this morning,
a quote from the film Hook popped in my head. In the film, Peter (Robin
Williams) has returned from Neverland and Wendy says to him “So…. Your adventures
are over.” To which Peter responds, “Oh no. To live…. To live would be an
awfully big adventure.” And I realized the importance of what Peter learned and
what Robin Williams taught us. Living is an adventure.
When we embrace the idea of
life as an adventure, complete with our very own Captain Hooks and monsters to
battle, as well as our own treasure to find and places to explore, it becomes
less about getting to the “next thing” or the “when’s” and more about accepting
each part of our adventure as it is.
Sometimes our adventure is
full of heartbreak, devastation and pain. And sometimes those adventures are too
overwhelming for someone to handle. But sometimes, many times, our adventures
are full of beauty. Yes, we’ll likely have to postpone the vacation we've been
talking about and planning for months and yes, I’m not a perfect mother. I don’t
have my crap together all (or even most) of the time. But, there is also a lot
of beauty in my every day.
Instead of focusing on the things
we cannot control and feeling guilty about natural, human emotions, it’s time
to start living. Stop making excuses for not getting what you want. Setbacks
are a part of every adventure. If getting to the end of our adventure were too
easy, it would be quite a boring adventure.
While we mourn the loss of a
fantastic artist, we should also embrace our own adventures and face our
personal pirates with the bravery of a grown up Peter Pan.
