It's amazing how badly we talk to ourselves. If you haven't seen the Dove "One Beautiful Thought," promotion, watch it now (see above video). Today, I had one of those conversations with myself. You know, the "I can't believe how fat I've gotten... I should pick out a shirt that'll draw the least attention to myself... How are my kids not embarrassed to be seen with me..." types of conversations. I was really letting myself have it.
I'm the mother of all givers when it comes to tossing out degrading comments about myself. It's something I've recognized not only in the way I talk to myself but the way I talk about myself to other people. I have this horrible habit of prefacing almost everything I say with "This is probably stupid," or "I know this is majorly dorky but..." It's ridiculous. I'm basically telling other people it's okay to think I'm stupid or worthless. It's like if I'm the one to say it first, I don't have to worry about being hurt if other people really think nasty stuff about me. It's insanity,
Why would I give other people permission to think less of me? If I can't respect myself, I can't complain when other people don't respect me.
There are a lot of things about myself I don't like and some of those things I can change, but the negative self-talk and permissive belittling isn't helping. It's so easy to get overwhelmed with making changes and burying myself under the weight of feeling worthless makes everything 100-times harder.
There's a quote that's been attributed to pretty much everyone that every lived, it goes something like : "Your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become character..."
As a mom, I don't only have to worry about my habits or my destiny. I have two very smart, beautiful girls and I cannot imagine them talking to themselves the way I talk to myself.
Already Emmalyne says things like "I can't do that, it's too hard," and "I'm not smart enough ..." It drives me insane. But can I really teach them to love themselves if I don't do it first? It's crazy how easy it is to belittle ourselves. Do I need to make improvements? Yes. A big resounding yes, actually. But I do not deserve to be talked to the way I talk to myself and there's no way I should be handing out permission slips to belittle me at will.