Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Consider This

I'd like you to pretend for a moment that you are walking down the street and a stranger walks up to you and tells you that you are fat, ugly, stupid and a lousy mother. How would you react?
I think it's a safe assumption that you'd react in one of three ways: 1. You'd slap them up one side and down the other. 2. You'd verbally defend yourself or 3. You'd walk away. You'd remove yourself from the situation.
Now suppose this person wasn't a stranger it was a friend. Suppose you have a friend who tells you your skin is too blotchy, your hair too flat and your butt is so big Donkey Kong could fit into them. How long do you think that friendship would last? Again I'd wager it wouldn't be very long for most people.
If someone else insults you and belittles you and you refuse to accept it why would you accept it from yourself?
I realize I'm probably preaching to the choir here. But I had a light bulb-moment the other day. It happened after I spent a good while thinking of everything that's wrong with me. Nothing was off limits from my thighs to my messy house to the dinner that always seems to get on the table late and not nearly as healthy as I'd planned.
I'm tired. It gets really exhausting beating yourself up all the time. I just thought to myself why do I let myself treat me this way? There's no way I'd take it from someone else. I should be able to trust myself more than anyone else and I can't even manage to go a day without tearing myself down?! It's sort of sick in a way.
I am far from healed of my self-deprecating attitude but now when I start in on myself I quickly think: What would you do if this was someone else talking to you? And I tell myself to shut-up.
I have a lot to work on but constantly focusing on my flaws is not making self-improvement any easier. I think I'll probably struggle with this my whole life. I believe that my insight is probably not original but it was an answer to a prayer for me.