In t-minus 36 hours, I’ll be 30 years old. Yikes! I’m
leaving my 20s behind and part of me feels like I’m losing a good friend: my
youth. By no means is 30 old but it feels very grownup to me and despite the
fact that I’m married and have two kids, being even more grownup seems scary. I’m
no longer a young adult. I’m officially, just an adult.
Gone are the days of being carded at the store when you buy
cold medicine. Hello days of being addressed as ma’am. I now understand why my mom detested being
called ma’am; it feels so…so like my mom!
My 20s have arguably been the best 10 years of my life. I’ve
accomplished quite a lot in the last decade including:
Visiting the ocean for the first time
Finding myself
Visiting New York City for the first time
Graduating college
Getting my driver’s license (yes in that order too…)
Getting married
Getting hired for my first REAL job
Having two babies
Buying my first car
Writing a novel
Becoming an aunt several times over
Going to Disneyland for the first time
Stuck out on my own as a freelance writer
Taken my oldest to her first and last days of kindergarten
I also accomplished a few not so good things including quite
a bit of extra baggage that I’m trying to get rid of! As much as I’m terrified
to turn 30 and as anticlimactic as it will probably be, I’m looking forward to
getting a little bit wiser. Learning to accept things that are and forgetting
about the things I cannot control.
I may not always make the right choices, sometimes I might
worry a little too much about fitting into a mold and I may not always be
cheery cherry. I’m pretty determined to make my 30s much more satisfying.
I won’t lie. It’s possible some tears will be shed and I’ve
been a regular grouch over the past few days. Getting older scares me, mostly because
I wonder if I haven’t done everything I could. It means I have less time to
accomplish what I want to. And it’s getting harder to change. But it doesn’t
mean I can’t.
As scared as I am, I had a minor glimpse of the
possibilities. I can change. And while my kids are continuing to get bigger and
it makes me sad, I also see the joy in their learning. I see how much fun we
can and will keep having together.
As Roy and I get a little older and our bodies get a little
slower, we find joy watching our kids hang from monkey bars like their arms are
made of steel, flip through the grass like they are indestructible and dash
about with the boundless energy of kids. There are days I’d like to feel that
young again, that energized, that free. But, it’s at least as sweet watching my
girls enjoy it.
Here’s to the next ten years. And the development of
tropical storm Angela, due to erupt about 10 years from today when 40 looms
over my head!
