Em turned four today. When I told her happy birthday, she looked at me and said, "Happy Birthday to you too mommy." At first I laughed thinking it was funny and then I thought “Thanks, happy birthday to me too.” She's my oldest and a mother was born the day she was. So it feels like my birthday too.
Being a mom has completely changed who I am. When I got married I thought that it was amazing how much you could love another person. When I had my daughter I realized I hadn’t had a clue about loving someone else.
When the nurse first laid her in my arms she looked up at me, right in my eyes. She knew her mom. In that moment I changed. I knew there was nothing in the world that would make me stop loving her. I knew what it meant to truly love someone because I knew I would do anything to protect her.
There is something amazing about watching her grow up and learn new things.
I am constantly amazed at how much she's learned, often humbled and sometimes embarrassed.
This year feels like it has been a big year of learning for her. She was potty trained early this year, has attended primary at church for a year and can now right her name (In crayon. On my wall.)
My favorite time of the day to spend with her is bed time. For a long time I would get annoyed because she has basically always refused to sleep without me nearby. A while back I decided to change my attitude and use the time to spend just focused on her. Now while I am waiting for her to fall asleep she tells me about her day and asks questions. She tells hilarious bed time stories and cuddles with me. This is truly one of the best parts of my day. While the house is dark and quiet I can concentrate on her.
She has surprised me with her pure love. I can get so frustrated with her and she still loves me. When I scold her for doing something she looks and me and says, "I'm sorry mommy." I love learning from her. I love watching her be a big sister.
She is growing into a sweet and intelligent girl, which is everything I could hope for.
While a little piece of my heart breaks when I see how fast time is going the rest of me is cheering her on. I know she can do great things. I have watched her personality develop into someone who is strong and caring and persistent. I couldn't ask for a better birthday gift.